6 Months of Nom: Bomb-Ass Food Porn and Other Delightful Dialogue

SURPRISE! Happy summer, blogonites! I can’t tell ya how good it feels to crack my fingers over the keyboard in this capacity once more, to dust off the cobwebs in this neglected, mothball-ridden broom closet of the internet. So grab a bottle of your favorite poison and some imaginary Bug B Gon, ’cause we’re going to kill brain cells as well as metaphorical pests! (And see some ah-mazing food porn while we’re at it.)

Let me catch you up on my absence. Instead of being here, I’ve been writing my novel, starting a garden, and getting some much needed R&R after this busy clusterf*** of a school year. It’s been 26 days since summer break started and I finally feel rested. Teaching drains every facet of your being and can leave you nothing but a husk of your former self if you let it. I basically sleep the first two and a half weeks of summer, then I start getting creative and bounce back to a more productive, fulfilled version of myself. And now I’m here. With you. I missed the s*** outta you. HUUUUUUGS! ❤

But let’s cut to the chase here. I know why you’re here and what you want to see, and that’s all the bomb-ass food I’ve been cooking and eating for the last six months, ’cause in case this is your first time here, that’s kind of my thing. Well, one of my things, anyway. Certainly the most popular bloggy thing. So let’s start this thing off with what I’ve been eating the majority of my summer to pay for my Alice in Wonderland sleeve, and that is ramen. Ramen for days, motherf***ers! But seriously, folks. Check it out:

ramen closet

No surprise there. I love ramen, and when it comes to ramen, I don’t f*** around. It’s not just your run-of-the-mill Maruchan bullshit. It’s all these badass ones from the Umai Crate (Google it, ’cause I’m too lazy to link it.)

Buuut it’s also your run-of-the-mill Maruchan bullshit. A LOT of it.

Ramen stash

As many of my die-hard fans know, though, I have a few tricks up my sleeve to make Maruchan not taste like the quarter between the couch cushions you bought it with. One of the tricks I previously divulged was putting sour cream into it, a recommendation by my best friend that rekindled my love of ramen and set the course for this culinary quest. I’ve since evolved and have created what I call the Ultimate Ramen Trifecta, which is soy sauce, kewpie mayo, and Sriracha. I don’t have exact measurements, but as you play with this trident of ramen greatness, just remember this essential condiment proverb: You can always add more.

Regular mayo will work fine, but kewpie mayo is where it’s at.

japanmayo_grande

I get mine at a little Asian market here in town, but if you don’t have one Amazon also carries it (duh). This Japanese mayo has strictly egg yolks rather than any whole eggs, giving it a greater depth of flavor than your standard mayonnaise.

Since I’d rather not go into too much detail about every single amazing thing I’ve eaten for the better part of 2018, I’m going to show you the highlight reel and have a quick blurb about each. The site is Concisely Claire, after all. Get your drool catchers ready!

mic drop

Mic Drop at Sosoba — all the porky goodness. One of my prized photos.

homemade ramen

My cheap-ass staple: Beefed up Maruchan bullshit with Ramen Trifecta, a grilled chicken patty, fresh cilantro, and fresh green onion. Not so drool catcher worthy, but worthy of its respected place on my reel.

ahipoki

Ahipoki poke bowl. Mother of dragons, this is SO f***ing good! Hubs and I could eat this daily.

homemade curry

Homemade bomb-ass red curry. I’ll be making this on Thursday for my in-laws, so tune in next time for the recipe for this TAYstee morsel (and more, better pics)!

chicken salad

Homemade chicken salad with salsa, ranch dressing, cilantro, and green onion.

jimmy rigged deviled eggs 2

Jerry-rigged deviled eggs.

salad eat and run

Mexican Cobb Salad from Eat N’ Run. Dried corn was on point!

okonomiyaki 6-18

My homemade okonomiyaki. Details HERE!

anniversary sushi

Hiro’s Sushi anniversary dinner. I think it was called the Ocean Roll? Doesn’t matter. Every roll there is doooope.

Sweet and Sour Chicken Mandarin Gardens

Sweet and Sour Pork from Mandarin Gardens. The best thing on the menu is their Sesame Chicken, and as soon as I manage to take a picture before stuffing my face I’ll be sure to post it.

railroad banana split

Banana split from The Crown Railroad Café, where the servers know us (not by name, but they know us. We’re getting there.)

mic drop 2

Another of that Mic Drop at Sosoba, ’cause it is so damn photogenic. MMM!

______________________________________

*sniff* Such great memories…

If you don’t give a shit about anything but the food porn (who could blame you? It’s f***ing GREAT), you can jump off this train right here, ’cause that’s all I’ve got for you today. Thanks for playing, and stay hydrated!

Here’s the skinny on what you can expect to see in the near future here at Concisely Claire:

-That kickass curry recipe in detail

-Trip to Denver, CO

-4th of July BBQ greatness

-Other cool (& prolly tasty) shit

Should be another great month of munch. Looking forward to sharing it with ya!

If my particularly engaging self has piqued your curiosity, read and look on! Check out my Alice sleeve and its progression:

white rabbit

The Mad Hatter

It makes all the ramen worth it.

I also mentioned earlier that I’ve started to garden. We happened to inherit a gorgeous backyard with all kinds of mature flora. Observe:

purple yellow iris

more purple less yellow iris

yellow iris

yellow rose

peony 2018

As you can see, it’s been a beautiful summer at the new house! We absolutely love it.

If you’re reading this, I’m proud of you, soldier. There was a lot of catching up to do. Thanks for coming, thanks for giving enough of a shit to get here, and have a faaaaantastic day. I appreciate you. Stay hydrated!

______________________________________

Any gardening tips for a complete noob like me?

Do you seek further wisdom about the Ramen Trifecta?

Just wanna leave a series of nonsensical letters?

Leave a Reply! I’d love to hear from you!

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