Foodie Sploosh, Breakfast Philosophies, & F***ing Harkins Popcorn

Hey there, blogvilians!  Apologies for flatlining for a grip.  My family and I are officially moved out of our old apartment and into a beautiful home!  At last!  Our first house!  I couldn’t be more thrilled.  It’s everything I hoped it would be and more!  My furry babies have adapted quickly and are loving all the extra space.  Take a look:


Now that we’ve ticked the house off “Ye Ole Adulting List,” both sides of my family are chomping at the bit for grandchildren that aren’t fuzzy quadrupeds, and in this matter subtlety has been thrown out the window.  This year’s Christmas card:


…Oh!  You meant later! Sorry, Dad…


We do want child (singular), but the last thing on Ye Ole Adulting List prior to child is an overseas vacay, which we’re prospecting for summer of 2019.  Then we shall procreate!

Anyway, back to the new house.  One of the things I adore about this house is that the kitchen isn’t the size of a broom closet.  In fact, I have exactly one f***ton of counter space.  Because of this, I’ve been diving into the kitchen like I haven’t since I visited my mom in college.    I’ve been making all kinds of tasty shit!  Spaghetti squash chicken enchilada bowls were the christening dish of the new house, and is one of the staples here at Los Fioris.  Check it:


This low carb twist on a delightful Mexican classic is delicious and easy to make.  My husband and I love having this (relatively) guilt-free dinner.  Or breakfast.  Whatever.

Secret time:  I’m not a big breakfast person.  Never have been.  If I have the choice between breakfast food and lunch food, I’ll choose lunch 9/10 times, and that number’s increased from years past.

“But Claire!” you exclaim, “How do you know when it’s breakfast and when it’s lunch?  Don’t you get confused?”

Fear not, Stupid Imaginary Question, for my philosophy on breakfast is simple!  If it’s food paired with orange juice, it’s breakfast.  Here.  I’ll show you.

mac and cheese

This bowl of mac and cheese?  Lunch or dinner.




Bowl of mac and cheese with orange juice?  Sha-ZAM!  Breakfast!


Most people are aghast when I disclose this culinary breakthrough, but I’ve finally found one person who shares my first meal sentiments!  High five, Lindsey!

I am, however, starting to come around on the breakfast train.  I’ve been eating my fair share of oatmeal as of late.  My husband loves oatmeal, my colon loves oatmeal, and it can be a bomb-ass breakfast that gives you a serious boost.  I usually mix up some of those delightful steel-cut grains of goodness with peanut butter and maple syrup.  Check it:


Mmm.  So f***ing bueno.  No mames.

I also like to add chocolate chips, but chocolate and I are on a break at the moment.  It’s complicated — I don’t want to talk about it.  I think we’ll settle our differences eventually, but I need time.  We both do.

The final dish of note that I wanted to mention in this edition of Concisely Claire was the Thai Turkey Burgers.  I definitely want to try making this dish again and have all the ingredients, as I didn’t make the slaw or have lettuce buns.  I threw plates under those motherf***ers and called it a day.  But damn were they good!  I put some of Hope’s Thai Coconut Curry hummus and Sriracha on mine, and it was gold.  Observe:


If you love curry as much as I do, try this hummus.  It’s amazing.  I buy it at Sprouts.


Speaking of curry, I lied.  That wasn’t the last foodie sploosh action I wanted to put in this post.  Sorry I’m not sorry.

Because of my fresh inspiration for cooking (and because our microwave died), I thought I’d try my hand at making stovetop popcorn.  The hubs and I f***ing love popcorn, but microwave popcorn is expensive and not the best for you.  My mother used to make it on the stove, and I remembered it being easy and delicious.  Turns out it is, and I went batshit crazy on Pinterest finding popcorn recipes.  First one that caught my eye: sweet and salty curried popcorn. This shit is dynamite! Check it:

curry popcorn

Looks good, right?  This popcorn is packed with flavor!  I used light brown sugar instead of the called for demerara, and used salted butter and skipped the salt. The balance between sweet, spice, and salt was right on point and made us utter words I thought were blasphemy until now:

“F*** Harkins popcorn.”

Well, my darling blogvilians, I hope this edition of Concisely Claire has sufficiently sated your severe Vitamin Me deficiency.   I shall be back with New Year musings this weekend.  Till then, my brilliant B-Loungers.  Stay hydrated!

Do you have any badass popcorn recipes? Poignant breakfast philosophies?  Articulate Harkins popcorn insults?  Leave a Reply and let me know!  I wanna hear from ya!

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